Going to be a DAD, don’t know how to help your Partner?

These are some simple things which will help you share the load of your partner.

Start sharing the housework, if you don't already do so. There are two areas where you can be helpful:

• Cooking – in the early months the smell of cooking may put her off and if you cook she's more likely to eat what she needs
• Carrying heavy shopping – carrying can put a lot of strain on her back, so do the shopping yourself or together Let your partner know she's not alone. The basic health advice is just as important for you as it is for her:
• Eating well is much easier if you're doing it together – start picking up healthy food habits you'll want to pass on to your child and make sure you know what foods to avoid in pregnancy.Speak to the CareNine dietician for a detailed diet plan.
• Cigarette smoke is dangerous for babies, so if you're a smoker, get advice on how to stop smoking – if you continue to smoke, don't smoke near your partner, don't offer her cigarettes and don't leave your cigarettes lying around.
• Go with your partner to the doctor if she's worried or be sure to talk it through when she gets home.
• Be there if she has a pregnancy ultrasound scan and see your baby on the screen – if she needs to have extra tests, your support is especially important.

Your feelings

Just because your partner is the one carrying the baby doesn't mean her pregnancy has no impact on you. Whether the pregnancy has been planned for months or years or is unexpected, you'll probably feel a range of emotions.

A baby means new responsibilities that you may not feel ready for, whatever your age. You and the mum-to-be may have mixed feelings about the pregnancy. It's normal for both of you to feel like this.

The first pregnancy will change your life and change can be frightening, even if it's something you've been looking forward to.

Money worries

Money problems may be a worry. You may face the loss of an income for a while, extra expenses for the baby and, if the mother returns to work, the cost of childcare.

You may be worrying that your home isn't right or that you'll feel obliged to stay in a job you don't like. It might help to look at what benefits you're entitled to and start planning ahead.

Sex in pregnancy

It's normal for a woman's sex drive to change in pregnancy. There's usually no medical reason to avoid sex during pregnancy, but bear in mind:

• Her breasts may be very tender in the early weeks
• Don't have sex if there's any bleeding or pain
• Make sure she is comfortable – you may need to try out a few different positions as the pregnancy progresses

Be prepared for the birth

This checklist for parents-to-be may be useful for the final weeks:

• Make sure you can be contacted at all times
• Decide how you'll get to the hospital (if you have arranged a hospital birth)
• If you're using your own car, make sure it works and has petrol, and do a trial run to see how long it takes to get from your house to the hospital
• Remember to pack a bag for yourself, including snacks, a camera, and your phone refer the list the CareNine case manager will send to you.