Get your groove back after the baby

During pregnancy you prepare by researching and buying gadgets and gizmos that sound fantastic for your baby’s development. But nothing can truly prepare you for the moment your baby is passed to you.

Just like that… with the flip of a switch your life is forever changed.

Once our babies are born, everything we think of and do is for them. Well Moms, who you are and how you feel is absolutely important too! In fact, you resolving this identity crisis and getting your groove back is probably the best gift you can give your baby.

Here are some nuggets on how to make it happen.

Overcome inadequacy and insecurities

#1: Cut yourself a break, Name it to tame it!

Life pre-baby most likely was one filled with knowing what your day looked like, knowing how to do your job and knowing your strengths. Post-baby you are faced with the hardest and most important job of your life, taking care of your baby 24 hours a day in every way possible. Now that is a tough career change, massive promotion (with no past experience) and get this… all this with no breaks and no supervisor to teach you. No wonder you feel overwhelmed and out of your league. Acknowledge this is all new for you and it is OK to not know exactly what to do. Use strong self-talk, “I am feeling completely unsure but that makes sense since I have never done this before. It is so normal to feel this way. It is going to get easier and better.”

#2: Create your village and increase your knowledge.

The best way to tackle that “insecure and inadequate” feeling is to call in the troops. It takes a village to raise a baby, right? Well then why does it feel so isolating? It doesn’t have to. Create the village! Connect with a mom friend who has been through it recently (I don’t recommend one with older children who might have forgotten how fragile and tough the first few months are). Attend a Mommy and Me group. Take an infant care class. Take time to educate yourself to build your skill set in your amazing and challenging new job as Mommy! Speak to the CareNine case manager on tips to handle the stress.

Reattach to who you were before the baby

#1: Do something every week that you love.

Maybe you loved going to yoga, or finding a new recipe to create, or attending an art class, or writing in your journal, or reading the newspaper on a Sunday. Whatever you loved doing before the baby needs to find a way back into your life now post baby. In the first few months you most likely won’t have time or possibly the energy to do something for yourself every day but it is a must to do so at least once a week. Mark it on your calendar, ask your partner to make sure you do it, and remind yourself how important you are.

Reconnect with your relationships

#1: Utilise the magic 7 p.m. bedtime for Baby.

Not only do the babies love this bedtime, but so do their parents! Having a break from parenting duties at an earlier hour like 7:00 p.m. creates a nice chunk of time to spend with your partner. Try eating dinner together without the TV on. Talk about things other than the baby. Plan an in-home date night where you cook together or order in, watch a movie or play a game. The most stressful time on a relationship is the baby’s first year of life. Take advantage of the baby’s early bedtime to reconnect in your relationships. It is the best gift you can give your baby.

Reset expectations of yourself

#1: Tackle one baby outing per day.

As mentioned above, being a mom with a young baby can feel and be isolating. Get out once a day to do something with your baby. Take a baby class. Go to the park and sit on a blanket. Attend a family event in your community. Visit a friend or a family member. Host or go to a play date. Since the babies are too young to play with one another you get a great outing with a mom friend who completely gets the stage you are in. Find balance, don’t try and do too much. A little goes a long way!

#2: Tackle your life list: Prioritise and delegate!

Your to-do list is most likely beginning to multiply. You may feel overwhelmed or constantly behind. This is so normal yet so frustrating. Remember your life is different now. Prioritise; what must get done… do. And start to let go of what isn’t a must. Try tackling one thing on your list each day. Overcome the overwhelm by setting realistic expectations regarding time frame. Delegate; pass along some of your list to those eager-to-help family members and friends. It’s a must as a new mom!